The Roommate
Chapter III
I stared at the orange medicine bottle, white label, and a large white cap, rotating it and squeezing it in between my fingers.
BRIDGES, ANDREW
31 HADDON AVENUE, WESTMONT, NJ 08108
QUETIAPINE FUMARATE XR 150MG TABLET
Common brand(s): Seroquel
TAKE 1 TABLET BY MOUTH AT BEDTIME
I had been diagnosed with bipolar depression. They told me it was most likely bipolar 2, which apparently wasn’t the “bad kind,” or whatever that meant. I don’t remember much about that night at the bar, but apparently I had lunged over the bar in an attempt to punch the bartender. Luckily, and pathetically, I didn’t make contact. Instead, I fell backwards, cutting my hand on a broken piece of glass after knocking my beer to the ground, sitting there crying and bloodied while James and the girl he was with (I never did catch her name), consoled me. It ended with a 72 hour psychiatric hold, tired doctors diagnosing me with a sort of bored detachment; they had seen this before, and they weren’t impressed. I walked out of the facility with nothing but my wallet, phone, and the new medication that I was instructed to take every night before bed. I wasn’t even sure if I’d end up taking it, but I liked the feeling of the bottle in my hand. I stood there waiting for my Uber, dreading the moment where I had to face James back at the apartment. I just wanted to hide. To hibernate for a year or two. I wanted to be even less of a nobody than I already was.
I shut the door behind me and stood there in the doorway breathing deeply and listening. I heard the sound of a gun firing off a volley of automatic rounds, grunts and explosions, the comforting sound of death and destruction. I turned the corner and peered into the living room where James sat on the couch deeply engrossed in whatever video game he was playing, controller in hand, biting his lower lip and moving his arms in an exaggerated manner as the gunfire continued.
“Motherfucker!” He closed his eyes and loosened his grip on the controller as his eyes turned up towards me.
“Hey man. You wanna play? I can’t get past this fucking level, I could use some help.” He spoke so casually, as if the prior events hadn’t even occurred.
“Uh, yeah. Shit, why not.” I was hungry, but that could wait.
It was all so strange, yet somehow comforting. He hadn’t mentioned my complete and total mental breakdown once. It wasn’t a “this is so awkward to talk about, so I won’t even bring it up,” type mood, it was more of a “it’s cool, shit happens,” kind of feeling that he was putting out. He didn’t even care. He didn’t think less of me, he wasn’t embarassed to be my roommate, I don’t even think he thought I was crazy. It was so far removed from the long, akward pauses that my immediate family used to give me after I had acted innapropriately in whatever social situation that I had ruined for them. I could hear my sister’s voice now, “You’re just so…weird.” And the “Danielle, don’t talk about your brother like that,” retort from my mother. My father silent, driving with his eyes stuck forward, not on the road, but away from me. James wasn’t giving me any of that.
“On the right! On the right! Shoot him, dude! He’s got a fuckin’ rocket launcher!” He was giddy but focused.
“Got him. Sniper up top on your left.” I replied, trying to hide the smile that was growing on my face.
“BOOM! Haha! Motherfucker!” James was standing up now, both of us staring intently at the screen as we pushed deeper into the level.
“I think we got this, man.” I said, now standing next to James, my fingers pulsing with the muscle memory of years upon years of playing shooter games, mostly by myself.
“You should heal man, your health’s low. We’re almost at the end, I’ve never gotten this far.” He was determined to beat this level, and he made sure I shared that determination, making sure my character had full health before heading into the final arena.
“Is there a boss?” I asked, trying to balance my focus between bonding with James and actually being good enough at the game to help him achieve total victory.
“Nah bro, I think it’s just a huge wave of enemies we’re gonna have to defeat. Make sure you have enough ammo.”
I looked down at the ammo counter, it read 30/120, max ammo. I moved my character forward and aimed down my sights as I stood next to James’ character, ready to take on the massive horde he had described. I looked at James, his face displaying what I can only describe as pure determination, and right at that moment, a knock was heard at the door.
“Who could that be?” I asked nervously, unsure if James had invited anybody over.
“Fuck. Ugh. I don’t know man, hold on.” He paused the game and stood up, throwing the controller back on the couch as he headed for the door.
I watched as James bent down and stared into the peephole. He quickly unlocked the door and swung it open.
“Dad?”